


I'll only ask twice

by Morathi_Cain



Series: What is it about those engineering boys? [15]
Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, Frong is a menace, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sappy, Talking About It, Thara has a reason, Tumblr-ask, Yearning, and Thara is related to Duen, even if it isn't the best, happy end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24823720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morathi_Cain/pseuds/Morathi_Cain
Summary: “Stay, please.” and “Hmm. So you do have feelings.” for Thara/FrongThara said #bros for a reason and Frong is close to throwing hands with destiny.
Relationships: Frong Korawit Kankun/Thara
Series: What is it about those engineering boys? [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708738
Comments: 18
Kudos: 229





	I'll only ask twice

**Author's Note:**

> This happened thanks to two prompts from Tumblr which I kind of merged and I never planned for it to get so long!  
> But here it is and I wish you lots of fun ^^

I’ll only ask twice

“Stay, please.”

Something tucked at Thara’s heart. Something strong and desperate. Something he’d buried deep inside of him for quite a long time now. Something he’d hoped to lose somewhere on the way.

But his feelings for Frong weren’t lost or buried anymore. It was rather the opposite, to be honest: they were back in full force.

He knew if he looked at Frong now, it would be all for nothing.

~~~

Telling Frong he thought of him as a brother had hurt.

For once because it wasn’t the truth and while he hated to tell lies, Thara also hurt himself, denying himself the opportunity to confess. Confess and be rejected probably, but still. Because no matter how much he told himself it would forever be better and easier and safer for him to be Frong’s brother, he still wanted more.

It had hurt also because Frong had looked surprisingly disappointed, his smile suddenly vanishing and turning sad. Had there actually been a chance of Frong returning his sentiments? Had there been a slight hope for his dream to come true?

No. Thara reminded himself this couldn’t be true. And even if it was, he would end up hurting Frong anyway and that was something he hated doing above all else.

Somehow he had started caring for this man so much during those last weeks, his only wish seemed to be to take away his worries and get this beautiful smile back on his face. The one he’d seen him with on the day of the date. When they were with Duen.

Of course, Thara didn’t think Frong had a chance with Duen. His cousin was way too dense to realise Frong had feelings for him, but that wouldn’t keep Frong from having them. Even if he said he was already over him.

And yes, he had seen how Frong had looked at Duen and afterwards at Thara himself during the camp. There might be feelings and he also might be a replacement. For a short moment, he’d thought about taking the place and how much better it would be to be Duen’s replacement, than nothing. Then he’d remembered what was about to happen and he’d controlled himself once more.

Better to be like brothers so he could still care for Frong and text him and worry about him. Better to be his brother than being left with nothing.

And maybe, just maybe, there would be a chance for him sometime later when he came back to Thailand and Frong wasn’t in another relationship. Which was hilarious, to be honest. Especially with the way he presented himself, it was a wonder Frong was still single and didn’t have a flock of admirers trailing behind him.

Thara himself liked Frong’s hidden side much more. When he was whiny or stunned or speechless or smiling at him so adorably, Thara would have liked to kiss him right then and there. Or when he was honest and open about his feelings, forgetting to pose and be cool for a second. Or when he’d giggled after listening to Thara talk to Cupcake in the morning. Thara loved making Frong laugh. Or blush. Or plainly embarrass him so much he forgot himself.

Knowing he’d have to go away for half a year in a few weeks was like a punch though. He’d been excited and even though he still looked forward to it, he already knew he’d miss this adorable but fierce junior more than he should. He’d been the son of his patient even and Thara shouldn’t have developed feelings in the first place. But he had, somehow and now he had to deal with it.

Which was to disguise his feelings as a brotherly affection. Before he got nothing, he’d rather be a brother to Frong.

Thara had never thought it could go so wrong.

~~~

Brother?

Frong was stunned and speechless. Had Thara seriously just called them brothers? To his face? After searching for his necklace for a whole night and listening to his ranting, telling him all those beautiful words? After making Frong fall for him so hard, he had no idea how to stand up again?

None of his brothers would have done that for him!

How could Thara sit there and smile at him with this mysterious smile and tell him this wasn’t love but brotherly affection?

Had he actually read the situation so badly? Was this seriously what Thara considered to be a connection between siblings?

Frong didn’t need another brother. He already had two. What he wanted to be was so much more, but how could he even ask for it after this? After hearing such words. After listening to this rejection. Because it was one, wasn’t it?

Still, Frong forced himself to smile tensely. Being Thara’s brother might be bad and painful, but it would be better than sending him away and missing Thara in his life. So Frong did what he had to do and smiled, acting along as much as possible.

Even when Thara sat next to him on the bus, switching between chatting and sleeping, which made Frong go crazy equally. And if it wasn’t enough, Thara’s thigh and shoulder were pressed against him constantly. A warm reminder of what couldn’t be but what he wanted none the less.

At the end of the drive, Frong was so exhausted, he was ready to go to bed instantly.

The smile Frong gave him as a goodbye squeezed his heart and left him helpless once again. It reminded him of the night he’d been drunk, his heart racing when Thara had held him and cared for him. To be so close and nervous, but still so far away, so unsure and insecure.

Frong had controlled himself not to shout at Thara and ask him what the fuck he had meant with this fucked up statement. No, he had kept quiet, had smiled with as much force as he could muster and he’d stomped home, his frustration only growing.

But still, he had tried sleeping. Maybe that would make his frustration and his damn feelings go away. What a way to be rejected. And from no one else than the cousin of his former crush. Frong wondered which god he had angered to get this. Was he such a bad person? Really?

Maybe if he went to sleep he’d wake up and realise it had all been a dream and the camp hadn’t happened. Wouldn’t that be perfect?

Of fucking course, he didn’t sleep. He lay in his bed, frustration manifesting inside of him as he stared at the ceiling and imagined shaking Thara until he took back everything he had said. Okay, maybe not everything everything, but the #bro part.

And of fucking course right when he felt his mind slipping away into a hopefully dreamless sleep, his phone buzzed. Instantly he was awake again, staring at his traitorous phone, wishing he’d thought about turning it off before. But now it was too late and it was blinking and he was fully awake.

When he saw the picture of Cupcake, happily munching on some berries while obviously being comfortable back home again, he smiled for a moment. The corners of his lips twisted upwards against his will, his heartbeat racing at the thought of Thara texting him because he thought about him.

Exactly. He thought of him as his brother.

The knowledge was bitter and Frong hated it. What was he supposed to reply now? How could he let his frustration out without pushing Thara out of his life? Because this was innocent and he knew it. A picture didn’t mean Thara was flirting, even if Frong wished he was. If Thara only knew what it meant to Frong, how much it meant even. But he didn’t and sent him pictures of his lizard as if he actually was his little brother.

Frong huffed, staring at his phone as if it would hand him the solution on a silver plate.

_‘my darling is happy at home’_

Frong blinked. What the hell? Was Thara serious?

Slowly the spite deep inside of him pushed him towards a decision. If Thara wanted a little brother, he would get one!

_‘Awww~~ no need to call me darling’_

Attachment: a picture of Frong, his tongue stretched out, his hair messy and the background obviously his bed

~~~

It had been a mistake. Thara was sure of it. Calling Frong his brother had been the worst mistake he’d ever done and he should have taken it back instantly. Because, this? This was worse than anything he could have imagined.

The first picture, paired with the flirtatious line, had been a shock already. But had it been flirtatious at all? Or was Frong exactly this kind of little brother, enjoying to be a little shit?

Thara hadn’t known anymore, staring at the picture with the dawning realisation that he had fucked up. Immensely. Worst of all, his treacherous body had tightened, the heat curling in his stomach as if Frong had just sent him an invitation for sex.

And even though Thara knew he shouldn’t and this wasn’t what Frong had wanted, he kept staring, his mind complete mayhem and his feelings in a scramble.

From then on it went downhill.

When Thara had said his bit about them being brothers, he’d imagined them talking, him caring for Frong and Frong opening up more and more. He’d imagined getting Frong to laugh regularly, to know he was doing alright once in a while and maybe get to know him closely, making him drop his posing act to look cool.

He’d definitely never imagined Frong sending him thousands of weird memes in addition to every little thing he noticed and saw. Which would have been nice if he didn’t add selfies to everything he texted.  
In less than one week Thara had gotten around thirty selfies of Frong on his phone. He was always in the picture when he pointed at the thing he’d wanted Thara to see or hear or watch. And he’d always smile this cheeky but adorable smile as if he knew what he was doing to Thara.

As if he knew he made Thara stare at the screen longer than was appropriate.  
As if he knew Thara’s heartbeat was beating at an unhealthy rate.  
As if he knew Thara had to force himself to text back in a calm and amused way instead of sending him a voice recording full of screams.  
As if he knew Thara had to hold himself back not to search for him right then and there to kiss him senseless.

Also the questions. Oh gods, the questions!

Frong sent him texts to ask him about everything.  
He would ask about weird and foreign words and wonder what kind of flowers he’d found, even though his own family owned a flower shop! He also asked about everything medical he found, making it seem as if he was looking for those specifically to annoy Thara with.

To be honest, Thara was too whipped to complain or tell Frong any version of ‘no’. At this point, he’d have rather cut his own arm off than deny the guy anything.

Strangely enough, they almost never met. Not on purpose at least. Sometimes they’d cross paths on the campus or when Frong’s mother had another check-up, but otherwise, they’d only text and send voice recordings.

Once, Frong called Thara late at night, giving him almost a heart attack. But thinking about Frong’s mother he picked up, afraid of what he might hear.

What he heard though, was a drunk Frong, muttering something about beautiful eyes he’d found in the club and asking him if a ‘Bloody Mary’ was made out of actual blood and where he could donate for that.

“Did you meet someone?”

Thara felt his throat close, memories of a tipsy Frong still vivid in his mind. He definitely was an adorable and dorky drunk, too beautiful and helpless to be left alone and unsupervised.

“Yessssss ...”

The bad feeling got stronger.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to come?”

“Every night.”

“What?”

“You should come every night!”

Thara blinked while staring at the wall in front of him. What was Frong talking about now? Because his own mind went down a dangerous and wrong path and he was too distressed to even joke about it.

“Are you alone? Who is the person you met?”

“An asshole ...”, was the slurred reply.

Oh shit. Thara was halfway out of his bed in seconds, searching for his trousers, the worst images in his head.

“He ignores me and left me”, continued Frong, obviously pouting.

Thara stopped in the middle of pulling his trousers up: “He left you there?”

“Mhm...”

A sigh of relief escaped him and he sat down on his bed again, realising he had tried to get into the wrong leg.

“Are you alone now?”

Maybe he should still get up and catch a cab to get Frong. He knew, after all, how defenceless Frong was when being drunk.

“Don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Where are you?”

Only a bit calmer, Thara turned his trousers and pulled them up properly. Even if Frong was with his friends and even if he wouldn’t want to go with him, he needed to make sure he was alright.

Like a proper older brother ...

The bitterness of that thought got drowned by his worry.

~~~

The world was spinning and Frong wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep it that way or if he should maybe start to kick the brake.

“Frong?”

With all the energy he could muster, he lifted his head and opened one bleary eye to see Thara right in front of him. Which meant he must be dreaming, right? Just as he’d dreamed about calling him and talking to him on the phone. At least until his battery had run out and now his phone was ... right in his hand.

Frong managed to open the second eye as well, staring a bit grumpy at the phone in his hand. How did it get there?

“Frong?”

Hands gripped his shoulder and made him look up. So maybe that wasn’t a dream at all?

“Why?”

“You called me”, Thara sounded tired and stressed, making Frong wish he could kiss the worry away. But they were brothers and brothers don’t kiss, do they?

“Ah ...”

Thara rolled his eyes: “Let me get you home.”

Frong shook his head: “Don’t wanna worry my mum.”

There was this little voice in the back of his head and thanks to the alcohol it got louder. So loud, in fact, Frong lifted his head to look at Thara: “Sleep at your place?”

The following reaction was hard to read. At least for Frong who had a hard time not closing his eyes, his head getting dizzy again. He even had no idea if Thara took a lot of time to answer or not because time had lost its essence hours ago.

Finally, Thara pulled him up: “As you wish.”

One of his arms draped over Thara’s shoulder and their bodies so close to each other made Frong wonder if he’d done the right thing. On the other hand ... this was nice, really nice.

With a sigh he tried to cuddle closer, making them both almost fall from the sudden shift of weight.

“Shhh”, Thara tried to calm Frong, not knowing what had happened, “I’ve got you.”

If only he knew ...

For the rest of the ride, Frong babbled as much as possible, trying to distract himself from being so close to Thara. And also because he was drunk and couldn’t control himself. At least he didn’t say anything overly embarrassing like a love confession. Or did he?

If he did, Thara didn’t react to it in any way. Back at his apartment, he helped Frong, who was by now half asleep again, to clean up. He also gave him his own shorts to sleep in and tucked him under the blanket.

Some halfway sober part of Frong’s brain promised him lots of pain for the next morning and it definitely didn’t think about the hangover.

Just when Thara turned to sleep somewhere else, Frong grabbed his hand to keep him close.

“Stay, please?”

He behaved like a male lead out of a drama, close to dying and not caring for the effects anymore. Except that he would totally regret it the next day, but his drunken mind didn’t care at all.

Thara stared at him and this time Frong knew it was a long time. He felt the muscles flex under his fingers, Thara obviously tensing. But before he could take the request back or even think about taking it back, Thara nodded.

“I’ll just go to the bathroom but will be back shortly.”

His throat closing up, Frong let go of Thara’s arm. He’d never thought it would happen and now he didn’t know what to do with himself. Even his drunken brain realised this was more than he could handle.

Acting as an annoying little brother with a brother complex was one thing, but sleeping in the same bed? Definitely crossing the line. His own line of sanity, to be exact.

Waiting for Thara made him tired though and when he came back from the bathroom, Frong was already half asleep, only turning when Thara lay down.

“Good night”, he murmured, fighting the impulse to shift closer.

“Good night”, Thara replied, a soft smile on his face.

Frong’s heart hurt, even as he slipped into a dreamless sleep.

~~~

Thara was used to having a light sleep whenever someone slept over. This made it almost impossible for any cuddling to happen during sleep. Usually ...

When he woke up this time though, it was because of a rush of hot breath hitting the back of his neck. He was lying on his side and an arm and a leg were draped over him. Even when only half awake, he had shivers running down his back, his heartbeat gaining speed with every second.

He should keep quiet, enjoy the moment, the touch.  
He shouldn’t move, letting this happen for once, just this once.

Thara couldn’t.

With a heavy heart, he moved away as slowly as possible, until Frong’s arm and leg dropped softly on the mattress, not even waking him up. When he finally stood next to the bed did Thara turn and watch Frong for a moment.

This was his dream.  
To have Frong close, to have him in his own bed, relaxed and soft, warm and comfortable enough to cuddle him.  
It was his dream and it had to stay one.

With one last look, Thara turned and went to the bathroom and the kitchen, distracting his mind with mundane tasks and talks to Cupcake. He would have loved to tell Cupcake about the guy in his bedroom, but he was afraid Frong might wake up and listen in.

Keeping his distance was safe.  
Smiling the way he’d always done was also safe.  
Caring for Frong as an older brother would do, was better than having no time together at all.

“You and I should move into the woods and live off from berries and worms, don’t you think?”

Cupcake enjoyed the scratching as Thara murmured, lost in his thoughts.

“May I visit?”

Thara turned, his heart once again in his throat, but his usual smile in place.

“If you bring some berries, we could think about it.”

Frong looked as hungover as Thara had expected him to be. Which also meant he was damn adorable, his eyes still a bit unfocused and his hair a wild mess. Simply perfect, as Thara thought. He could have watched Frong forever, who yawned before scratching his belly.

“It’s a deal then.”

The silence stretched between them, Thara wondering what was about to happen and what he was supposed to say or do.

Finally, he took the initiative: “How are you feeling?”

The look, Frong gave him, was unreadable. Did he maybe even detect a hint of frustration?

“Hungover”, Frong finally replied softly, his eyes by now avoiding Thara.

“I can make hungover breakfast”, he offered even though he knew he’d only fall deeper if they’d do that. If they behaved like a couple would do after a one night stand.

Once again Frong stared at him as if he was searching for something. As if he knew he’d find Thara’s feelings for him if he’d look long enough. To be honest, it made Thara nervous. He only had one month left and he rather wanted to enjoy it with Frong than without.

“I know it sounds weird, but I have this amazing recipe with algae and I swear it totally helps against every headache.”

What love had made him do! A few weeks back he’d never thought of saying something like “I know it sounds weird”. He’d made it and Frong would have had no chance but to try it.  
Now, on the other side, he wasn’t feeling so sure of himself. Especially with the way he was still watched.

“Don’t bother”, Frong finally replied with an obvious frown appearing, “You cared enough for me. I’ll go home and take a shower.”

“What?”, Thara almost jumped up, his calmness now gone, “Don’t worry, you’re no bother to me. Stay if you want to.”

The smile he got in return was crooked and tired: “Thank you, but I’d rather continue sleeping in my own bed. And I know you have a lot to do instead of caring for a junior from another faculty.”

“Frong?”, Thara finally stood up, “What’s going on? You know that’s not how I see you.”

“I know”, Frong’s smile got a tiny bit more real, “But I’ll still go home.”

Helpless, Thara watched as Frong pulled on his shoes, his shirt wide open and presenting this damn seductive chest as he leaned over. The wish to pull Frong back to bed and explore his chest was almost unbearable, but Thara pushed it down forcibly.

It wasn’t meant to be.

And because that was a fact, he watched Frong wave his goodbye, his smile still crooked as he left Thara’s apartment, the only sound now being Thara’s rapidly beating heart.

~~~

_”... my parents are quite busy to support my aunt with preparations for Thara’s flight. A whole year away is a long time...”_

Frong stared at his phone and the open chat.

In five days.  
Five fucking days.  
Was Thara messing with him?

Would he have told Frong at all if Duen wouldn’t have told him the fact of Thara going away for a whole fucking year or would he simply have vanished? Gone out of his life without another word, just for Frong to stay back once more, heartbroken and confused?

And if he did, was it because he was ignorant of how important he was for Frong? Or because he didn’t think of Frong as his brother anymore? Or because he was an asshole who wanted to hurt him?  
Had he fallen in love with the two people who were denser than anyone else? He’d really thought Thara would be better.

Furiously, Frong started to type.

_‘What a spontaneous trip ...’_

Frong was pissed, okay?

Here he was, already awkward enough after the night he’d spent in Thara’s bed, drunk and self-conscious, but still with this tiny hope of somehow burying himself in this guy’s heart.

Except there was no time anymore. Thara would fly away in another country in a few days and he’d forget about Frong and he’d stop caring for Frong and he ...

_‘Sorry for not saying anything sooner.’_

_‘I’m bad at goodbyes.’_

“That’s not bad, it’s idiotic, dickhead?!”

Frong threw his phone onto his bed with a groan. This was so fucked up and he didn’t even know how to react anymore. Why did Thara not tell him about this? Why had he still cared for Frong as if he wasn’t about to flee the country?

His phone buzzed again, but he didn’t care.

Thara should worry and apologise, but Frong wouldn’t forgive him anytime soon. It hurt and Thara should know it did. He should know he’d done something wrong and he absolutely deserved the punishment. Even if Frong hadn’t been helplessly in love with Thara, he would have deserved it. Who told their friends about such a major event only a few days before it was about to happen?

The phone kept buzzing, but Frong turned towards his desk again, pulling his headphones over his head.

He’d probably never learned as angrily as he did now.

~~~

When he finally read his messages again, he’d only one more apology from Thara and over 20 messages from one of his group chats. Damnit.

He had replied something vague to Thara’s message and ignored the rest. They were the reason he’d hoped for more, but it had only been a trap and none of them deserved his attention for now. Or for the next few days. Until Thara was away and maybe Frong’s feelings could be clear once more.

His phone buzzed again, but this time with an incoming call. If that was also one of his damn colleagues, Frong would lose his cool for the first time, he swore.

But Thara’s name appeared on the screen, almost blinding in the dark room. It was so absurd and surreal, Frong wasn’t sure if he wasn’t dreaming already.

The call stopped and Frong continued to stare, still unsure what to do about it. Had this been real? Or was he so gone he’d started to hallucinate already?

Another message appeared and this time it was also from Thara, attached to a picture of Frong’s house.

‘ _Am I at the right address? Would you let me in? Please?’_

It was like a push back into reality. Thara was here? At his place? To see him even?

Before he could even think about it, he was up from his chair and at his window, staring outside at the street. The street in front of his mother’s home which was quiet and empty, except for this one man standing right in front of the gate, staring at the windows with his phone in his hands. When Frong appeared at the window Thara waved awkwardly.

Despite his anger and frustration. Despite the pain deep inside of him, Frong stumbled through the house and towards the gate in an instant. He wasn’t cool right now. He wasn’t calm and collected at all, but Thara knew all of that.

With his heart in his throat did he appear outside. His hands were sweaty and clammy as he pulled the gate open and he hoped his face didn’t show all those emotions he was feeling, because it was a lot.

“Hey”, he murmured as Thara stood in front of him with this calm, unreadable smile on his face.

“Sorry for not coming sooner”, Thara said and at least he sounded honest, “I just got off from work.”

Frong knew it was a valid reason for not apologising more and for not coming sooner, but his frustration didn’t vanish.

Thara swallowed: “Do you want to talk here or rather inside?”

It was maybe the first time Frong could see some hesitation and insecurity in Thara and it hit differently. This man who he’d starting loving because he always seemed so sure, so in tune with himself was now in front of him, unsure if he was welcome.

He had a good reason for that, but it was still a surprise. As if Thara knew it hadn’t been right instead of it being something he did the same way he did everything: in his own way and slightly weird.

So instead of saying anything else, Frong waved Thara inside. Their whole way up to his room was in silence, even though Frong feared the rapid beating of his heart would be heard for miles.

After closing the bedroom door softly, Thara looked around the room, his usual smile reappearing once again with a tenderness, which made Frong ache.

He sat down on his own bed, staring up at Thara expectantly, but also defensive. He wouldn’t like what this man was about to say, would he?

“What did you want to talk about?”

With a weary sigh, Thara sat down on the bed as well, but with lots of space between them. If he would now proceed to tell Frong how he knew about his feelings and had wanted to keep his distance, Frong would throw him out of the window, he swore.

“I am truly sorry for not telling you sooner about my travels.”

Travels ...

Frong’s look must have been enough for Thara to let out a dry chuckle: “My year abroad, yes. And yes, I even knew about it before we met and I am sorry I didn’t say anything. I kind of wanted, but I also hate goodbyes, so I decided to do it right before I leave. If we were still close enough for you to care.”

For him to care?

Frong was sure he’d get an infarct in a second as he stared unblinkingly at Thara.

“If I care?”

Thara knew he’d fucked up.

“I know you care”, he continued hastily, “But I didn’t know in the beginning and it’s not exactly easy for me to share something like that. And make it all weird.”

Sadly enough, this made sense. Somehow at least.

Despite all his care, Thara rarely shared anything about himself. Most of the things he shared were silly tidbits, but nothing major. At least most of the time. When Frong himself had opened up, Thara had done so himself, but as a way to care further for him.

Only during the last few weeks had he shown more and more of himself thanks to their constant contact. Even though it still felt as if he was holding back. So maybe it was just that. Thara being so careful what to share, he’d waited for a long time until he was sure he could let Frong in his life enough to tell him something like this.  
It didn’t erase the pain, but it soothed his anger a bit.

“Would you have told me at all?”

“Yes”, Thara nodded, his smile returning slowly, “Of course.”

“Don’t say of course when you’ve hidden the fact of you going away for months.”

Thara winced and Frong didn’t feel sorry at all for him. But he felt rather sad and frustrated. Here he’d been, hoping in some depth of his heart this might all work out for them. That somehow he’d get to convince Thara they should be more than brothers. But if Thara was away anyway, that wouldn’t be possible, would it? Only if he’d confess his feelings right here and now, but that would be absurd. Not with everything Thara had just said and done. There was no way ...

Gentle fingers brushed through his hair, getting it out of his face. Frong looked up, just to see a tenderness in Thara’s eyes he’d never experienced before.

“I am truly sorry and I totally understand if you hate me know or are angry at me. I should have done better. To be even more honest, I didn’t want to say goodbye to you and I didn’t want to make it weird between us. I also fear any kind of goodbye party and hoped to get out of the country as quietly as possible.”

The hand stopped moving, but Thara didn’t take it back.

“If you want to stay in contact during the time, I’d be happy to. If you don’t want it, I’ll accept it as well.”

Frong kept staring, his mind a whirlwind and his heart in chaos. He wanted to say something, to tell Thara to stay, to confess his feelings, to shout and cry, but he kept staring instead.

The crooked grin on Thara’s lips grew: “Don’t worry too much, okay? Otherwise, I’ll have to leave Cupcake with you.”

When Frong kept quiet, Thara finally dropped his hand, the grin now more like a shadow.

“I’ll go then, okay? Take care of yourself.”

Slowly, as if he was still waiting, Thara stood up, his gaze by now averted as if he didn’t dare to look at Frong any longer. As if his own heart had just been as broken as Frong’s was.

Suddenly, Frong couldn’t take it anymore. Fuck his insecurities, fuck the year Thara would be away. Fuck them being brothers and dancing to a tune they didn’t know. Fuck everything!

His hand closed around Thara’s arm just as Thara was about to leave the room: “Stay, please.”

Thara stopped without turning. His muscles tensed enough for Frong to feel it, but otherwise, he didn’t move.

“Stay. Please”, he said once again and this time with a more solid voice, less shaky.

“When? Where?”

Thara sounded as if he was amused, but he still didn’t look at Frong.

“Now. Next year. With me.”

Slowly, Thara turned, his wrist still gripped tightly to keep him in place.

“Why?”

Frong had no idea how to describe the look in Thara’s eyes. He only knew that it made his toes curl and his insides tighten with a vague expectation.

He licked his lips without losing the eye contact once: “Because I’ll miss you more than a brother and more than a friend.”

There was no smile anymore as Thara searched his face for something. Maybe some kind of confirmation that this wasn’t a dream. Or a sign of a joke.

Frong kept quiet, not wanting to repeat himself.

“You liked Duen.”

Frong nodded, even though the time seemed like an eternity ago.

“And you met someone at the bar.”

Frong frowned and shook his head.

“You did”, Thara tried to smile again, “Don’t you remember? You told me he was an asshole who left you.”

“I was talking about you.”

His only reply was a confused stare.

“You were the one ignoring my feelings and leaving me all alone with them.”

“But ... what?”

”You were the one telling me we were brothers instead of realising my actual feelings.”

For the first time since they knew each other, Thara actually seemed speechless and ... was that a blush?

Funny enough, the fact of him being shy made Frong brave. Braver.

“You like me?”, Thara managed to ask.

“Of course”, Frong replied as he pulled Thara a bit closer, “I am morosexual after all.”

“What?”

“Apparently it’s my fate to fall for dense men who’re also related to each other. Do you have any brothers or more cousins I could try crushing on?”

“No!”

“No?”

Thara shook his head and stepped even closer.

“No. They’re all idiots and definitely no good choice.”

“But you didn’t know I have feelings for you as well.”

Annoyance was visible by now: “I might have tried to protect myself and you.”

“Ignoring my feelings and telling me we’re brothers is a shitty way to do that, dude.”

“I didn’t ignore them! And I wanted to give you a reason to stay in contact. Especially since I knew I’d go away soon. For quite a long time and I didn’t want to make this harder.”

“Wait”, Frong pulled Thara another step closer, “You wanted a reason to stay close? Why?”

Yes, it was definitely a blush. A rather annoyed blush.

Hope came crushing down on Frong, making him all giddy and happy, his belly suddenly full of butterflies and this undeniable urge to smile. Just smile.

“Hmm, so you do have feelings for me.”

Even though he said it himself, the thought was mindblowing. To hope it was true. To believe there might be something more ...

Thara nodded and lifted one hand to cradle Frong’s cheek which was instantly burning from the contact.

“I do. I do have feelings for you.”

“Since when?”

“Hey ...”

“Since when?!”

Thara sighed: “I guess it all started when you ran against that sign.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No?”

“Why that? And why haven’t you said anything?”

A shrug and a sigh.

“As I said, I wanted to protect me and you from the pain of being separated. And I still thought you were in love with Duen. And don’t try to tell me otherwise. I saw your puppy eyes when you watched him and Bohn at the camp.”

Frong was pouting by now: “I was already falling for you by then. And I don’t care that you’re about to leave. I would have really liked to have a say in that decision, you know?”

“And what do you say? Knowing how it is now?”

“No”, Frong shook his head, “For once you’re going to tell your feelings first. You can’t always adapt to what I’ve said.”

“What a pity.”

Thara was grumbling, but the fact he hadn’t moved away yet and his hand was still cradling Frong’s face with a yearning tenderness, gave Frong even more hope. Exploding, delicious hope which he didn’t want to let go ever again.

“I’m afraid.”

“Okay?”

“I’m afraid it will be too long and too far and you’ll meet someone else but won’t dare to tell me and I can’t care for you as I’d like to.”

“But what do you want?”

For a few seconds, Thara seemed to think about it, watching Frong as if he had the solution. And with every moment that passed, his smile grew even softer.

“I want to be with you. I want to know you’re my boyfriend even when I’m far away. And I want to come back to you.”

If Frong could, he would have melted right then and there to become a puddle on the floor.

Instead, he used his best puppy eyes: “Can’t you stay in Thailand?”

Thara laughed, ruffling Frong’s hair: “If you can promise to earn enough money for both of us, sure. Since I won’t get a job otherwise.”

“Bah”, Frong rolled his eyes as dramatically possible, “Then I’ll sue the department for taking my boyfriend away.”

The smile he got in return was worth all those weeks of yearning. He truly was a puddle of emotion, somehow still held upright in this body of his.

“You’re my boyfriend then?”

“I am.”

“Can I hug you now?”

“Oh please do!”

When he got crushed against Thara’s chest and was finally as close as he’d always dreamed, Frong felt truly happy.

“Seems as if I don’t have to search for your cousins after all.”

Thara tightened his grip: “Oh shush!”

Who would have thought it could be so easy to get a rise out of Thara. Frong loved it.

~~~

“Oh”, Thara suddenly exclaimed in the middle of their cuddle on Frong’s bed, “And I want you to take care of Cupcake!”

The push against his shoulder was absolutely deserved, as Frong thought, even though the trust Thara had in him was blowing his mind. To be honest, he actually looked forward to it. At least he and Cupcake would be waiting together.

~~~

One year later:

Staring at the sleeping man in his arms was like a dream. Being back for one week and having spent most of it with Frong, Thara still couldn’t quite believe this amazing man was his boyfriend. And the fact he’d actually waited for him for a whole year. A year full of phone and skype calls, but it was still a busy year with almost no free time and much to learn.

But Frong had waited, together with Cupcake, and when Thara had come back he’d greeted him at the airport with a sign, a scream and a kiss. Something his former self would have probably be surprised by. Hell, even Thara had been surprised by the force of it, but he’d also been very happy. And he’d kissed right back with no intention of letting Frong go far from him.

It had gotten a bit awkward as his mother had coughed to get his attention. Not for him, but definitely for Frong who’d not quite expected to forget everything around him with such force. Thara hadn’t let him go far anyway.

And now they were here. Together at Thara’s apartment and still not letting go after a whole week. They had a lot to catch up, after all, as Frong used to say before kissing Thara right then and there.

It had taken a bit until Thara had been confident enough to kiss Frong first, always wondering if it was okay. But by now he didn’t hesitate anymore.  
By now he let his hands wander whenever Frong was close enough.  
By now he pulled Frong in to bury his nose in his neck, peppering kisses along the way.

They had both waited for a whole damn year to have this and they deserved every second of happiness they could get. Especially with their experiences of loss.

Frong stirred, cuddling even closer.

“Morning ...”, he grumbled even though he still refused to open his eyes.

“Morning”, Thara smiled at him fondly, his thumb stroking soothingly Frong’s shoulder, “Go back to sleep.”

“Hng?”

“Don’t worry. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

the End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please let me know if you like it ^^
> 
> If you want to send me more requests or rant about My engineer, pls feel free: https://morathicain.tumblr.com/


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